Summer continues unrelentingly punishing the centuries of human carelessness with continued malevolent climactic conditions. If I were an ecofeminist, I would blame our militaristic, heavy-handed, profit-oriented history of robbing the environment of the tools it needs to survive.

Hmmm......could I do that? Well, yes, in a way. Bears are appearing on golf courses, deer are everywhere looking for a place to live and groundhogs sprout up even around apartment buildings.

And we go on, shopping(well, some of us) and environmentally looting; what is next?I hear people complaining about the weather, the humidity, the absolute torpor of it all. I whine, too; less than in prior life. However, I know I must take some of the blame. Two legged animals can be most cruel.

While meditating and just relaxing in Van Vleck Gardens, I noticed PSE&G (area utility company) digging up mounds of grass in a large area. I was concerned for the animal and bird population. What could I do? I meditated and let the thought leave.

Now, in an unbearably humid day I am defrosting the ancient mini fridge (or excuse for one) that is provided in the too-high-rent studio apartment where I reside in an area that a lot of people want. I would give up the apartment in a moment if I could find an alternative that suits me and that I could more afford. Not yet.

As for the job that will open my life financially, it has not manifested. It is time to create this job; however, it is difficult. Next step, calling holistic centers and making interest meetings or phone calls if it is in another state or area. Then my cell phone bill will rise. And the circle continues.

How to break that circle? Walk in another direction. And I will. In the meantime, back to the refrigerator, grading research papers, and doing what I need to keep self motivation at a peak.