Call my job a low paying apprenticeship that is fast speeding toward bankruptcy or call this an essential life learning experience. Well, maybe both. At the Special Care Unit where I spend my workdays and occasional workevenings, I have discovered that, at times, those labeled "clinically demented," are intelligent, witty, insightful, and for the moment, quite aware of where they are, what they are doing there and just where everyone is going.

I experience moments of laughter, anger, inspiration and tears. Not bad for a job, really. And not so slowly, holistic healing modalities are being introduced--by me--and sometimes grudgingly accepted by supervisors. Residents are usually appreciative. The inclusion of basic Qi Gong in exercise sessions works. Some residents resonate; all I have to do is start or say "Pulling Silken Threads," "Happy Buddha," or "Qi Ball" and they are there. Others need more cuing; others will try when shown. Energy work is a part of all of my work, even when forced to lead sessions in Yiddish proverbs or tabletop ball toss. Wait; I am learning Yiddish from my patient teachers-vassar is water, ich lieb du is I love you; kitzele is cat, shayna madel wit a kleidel is pretty woman with a skirt, shayn mein is good man. At times, we are all each other's mispochach (dysfunctional, crazy family).

However, at times, there is intense frustration. I am paid so very little that I cannot keep up my basic life or consider a visit to museum, film, going out with friends, or visiting one of the rather excellent area restaurants--not to mention New York City. So, I spend much time looking for other income opportunities in addition to the holistic groups I facilitate at the wonderful Green Hill Retirement Community. Nothing yet. Most places are not hiring, local businesses are closing; recession is evident, even in Montclair.

Will I leave? Most definitely; given the opportunity. Will I stay? If my salary were doubled, maybe. What next? Continue the search, network more, reignite past relationships and stay in the moment. And always stay open to all possibilities.